Decoration

I have two things to put on the walls in my office now. They’re both quotes from Supernatural, printed for some reason that remains obscure to me on dictionary pages–one English, one a Portuguese English-to-Portuguese with way more pronunciation help than any English dictionary I’ve ever seen.

I put the one that says “Hey, Assbutt” in a spot where it’s not really visible, and I’ll take it down if I have to, but for now I’m very amused by Angry!Castiel glaring at me.  (The other one says “Please accept this sandwich as a sign of solidarity”, which probably shouldn’t amuse me as much as it does since I hated that whole plotline…) 

Why Did No One Tell Me?

This morning on my way to work I saw no fewer than three women in going-to-work clothes who were wearing flipflops; I shared the elevator in my building with a fourth.  Now, I’ll grant that in three cases they were “fancy” flipflops, in that the straps were made of gilded or otherwise decorated leather, but they were flipflops nonetheless.

I get that it’s summer; I get that the owners of the fancier versions probably think of the shoes as “sandals”.  But they aren’t; they’re flipflops.  When did the rules change such that the shoes I spent every summer of my childhood in are considered adequate for office wear?

Or am I just getting old?

I’m Sorry, You Seem To Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who Cares

Email from someone in the office saying, “Hi, these people don’t know what to do to sign up for the meeting!  Fix it!”

Screw off.  I take the reservations and put ’em in a spreadsheet, dude, I don’t answer questions.  You people do not pay me enough to think.

What We Have Here

If I don’t know what the problem is–if I don’t know there is a problem–I cannot fix it.

You’d think this would be plenty fucking obvious, wouldn’t you?

Apparently not.

Dead at Work

There are about 4 people in the office today besides me, and you’d think this would be the perfect opportunity to get some hardcore data entry done.  Except for the guy who has decided that Christmas music, just loud enough that no one not at his desk can hear it clearly, is the proper accompaniment for his work experience today.

I do not in general listen to the iPod while working, but I think I might have to make an exception.

Yes, But Can You Code?

God save me from IT people who want to be hackers.

One of the IT guys here starts all his messages with a header that reads THIS IS A FLASH MESSAGE FROM “[PRETENTIOUS NICKNAME]”.   All the text is in bold.  He has an animated picture in his sig.  And he lectures us about not having enough storage space on the email servers.

My machine here would never get defragmented if I didn’t know how to do it.  More to the point, it would never get defragmented if I didn’t know it needs to be done.  It’s not a matter of having gotten an email saying “This needs to be done, we don’t have the time, here’s how”; it just isn’t done, period, unless the user knows to do it and does it.

We had a meeting today, telling us that we need to go through and clean up our own files in a specific way.  I can’t give any more details than that, because we essentially weren’t given any.  We showed up and were told there was a problem; we were told to check a specific thing.  What we weren’t told was what a bad result would look like or how to tell a safe file from a bad file.  That’s going to be in an email, on Monday…because of course it wouldn’t have been useful to, say, have a handout ready when we got there.  Or, you know, use one of the computers in the room–perhaps the one with the attached projector–to show us the procedure and what to look for.  No, he just stood at the front of the room and told us there was a big problem, with a strong undercurrent of “Because you guys know nothing about computers.”  Feh.  You wanna be a whitehat, go work in the real world, because running IT for local government?  Not impressive.

Cow-orking for Fun and Profit

One of the people in my office is, quite simply, stupid.  OK, several of the people who work in my office are stupid, but one in particular.  I just had to stand there for 5 minutes watching this person scan a document–this despite the fact that we’ve all been shown how, and that there is a packet with full-color screen shots explaining how it’s done.  But no, I had to stand there and watch to be sure it got done right.

If you’re that stupid, how the heck did you get a job in the first place?

(Addendum: I should note here that this is hardly the only dumb thing this person has ever done.  Also I am well aware that I have Intolerance:Stupidity on my character sheet, so please don’t bother telling me I’m being mean and it’s not a stupid person’s fault that they’re stupid.  I know that; I still can’t abide being around them.)

Things You Can’t Say to your Boss

The thing about this job is that a bright 10-year-old could do it, provided there was someone willing to carry heavy things on occasion.  My salary is perfectly adequate for typing, filing, copying, and ordering supplies, which is what I do.  You do not, however, pay me enough to think, too.  You want thought, there’s going to have to be some renegotiation.

Unclear on the Concept

OK, it’s a silly thing to get upset about, and I really shouldn’t let it bother me. But this is part of every working day I have, and after a while it gets wearing.

One of my jobs is to take the batches of vouchers produced by the Accounts Payable people, and copy them so that they’ll have copies after sending the originals to the Controller’s Office, where the actual checks will be written. And one of the people who gives me these batches of vouchers seems–after a year and a half–incapable of understanding that you don’t need a two-inch-long, heavy-duty paperclip to hold two sheets of paper together. The small, thin-wire ones do very nicely; in fact, they do nicely up to the point that the number of sheets starts to deform them, at about 15.

If it were purely a matter of aesthetics, I’d shrug and get on with life. It isn’t, though; the extra thickness the clips add is significant even when using the small ones. This means that every single batch has a big bulge in the upper-left corner, making it harder to form a stable stack of more than about 3 batches or put a number of batches in an inter-office envelope. The problem is exacerbated by a tendency to position every paperclip at exactly the same distance from the corner, so they’re all lined up, one atop the other.

For eighteen months I’ve been removing the neatly-lined-up large paperclips and replacing them with staggered small ones. With no effect whatsoever. It’s enough to make me wonder what passes for brains around here. I realize this is dumb and probably elitist. It still bugs me.OK, it’s a silly thing to get upset about, and I really shouldn’t let it bother me. But this is part of every working day I have, and after a while it gets wearing. One of my jobs is to take the batches of vouchers produced by the Accounts Payable people, and copy them so that they’ll have copies after sending the originals to the Controller’s Office, where the actual checks will be written. And one of the people who gives me these batches of vouchers seems–after a year and a half–incapable of understanding that you don’t need a two-inch-long, heavy-duty paperclip to hold two sheets of paper together. The small, thin-wire ones do very nicely; in fact, they do nicely up to the point that the number of sheets starts to deform them, at about 15. If it were purely a matter of aesthetics, I’d shrug and get on with life. It isn’t, though; the extra thickness the clips add is significant even when using the small ones. This means that every single batch has a big bulge in the upper-left corner, making it harder to form a stable stack of more than about 3 batches or put a number of batches in an inter-office envelope. The problem is exacerbated by a tendency to position every paperclip at exactly the same distance from the corner, so they’re all lined up, one atop the other. For eighteen months I’ve been removing the neatly-lined-up large paperclips and replacing them with staggered small ones. With no effect whatsoever.

It’s enough to make me wonder what passes for brains around here. I realize this is dumb and probably elitist. It still bugs me.